Ronnie is different from any kid I’ve ever known. He often seeks closeness, or intimacy with me. Often when I'm eating or drinking something, as he passes by, he'll drink a little out of my glass or eat something out of my plate, using my silverware. Or, if we're eating dinner, he'll turn just enough so that his knee is resting against my leg. Even when he’s in a grouchy or irritable mood, he’ll keep his foot just far enough over to rest on top of mine the whole time he’s grumping. Or else he would lie on his stomach across my bed with his head on a pillow, close to my lap, watching me roll my hair.

For the most part, this closeness is a need for love and attention and wanting to feel wanted and important. But occasionally, if I sensed anything different, I’d remind him.

"Ronnie, when I say I love you, I mean I love you like a sister!"

“Aw, I don't wanna hear it," he mumbled.

“Well, you did, whether you like it or not that's the way it is!”

He was quiet, distant, and rather mean to me for the rest of the night. However, that night we got a 15 year old guy, Kevin, who needed an emergency, overnight lodging. It was decided that it would be better for Kevin to sleep in Ronnie's room, and for Ronnie to sleep on the sofa in the office, which my room opened into. Ronnie was kind enough to agree. He sat in my room eating ice cream for a while, and then I helped him make up the sofa as a bed.

As I cleared my junk out of the office, he said quietly (he had already gotten into bed), "Ain't you forgetting something?"

I knew that he wanted to be kissed goodnight, and it touched me.

"What?" I asked, looking around.

"Think, Jeanne," he sighed, sorely tried.

"I don't see.

"I'm your kid brother, remember?"

"Did I leave something in here that offends you?" I asked

He hates to see my pajamas lying around to him it's indecent.

Ronnie gave up. "Just forget it, Jeanne.”

"Okay," I started into my room. "Goodnight and I love you.”

"Love like yours I don't need," he mumbled and went peacefully to sleep.

I guess I was afraid to kiss him and find out that wasn't what he meant. That would be embarrassing. It took an enormous amount of courage, just to say, "I love you.”